at the end of your day
28 11 2007I thought I would post something that some of you might want to try and may find beneficial.
Back in the 15th century there was this guy named Ignatius, and he would go through a process he called examen. Basically, the whole point was to help hear the voice of God within himself, but also to better understand and see what God was doing around him, sort of having ”eyes to see and ears to hear” as Jesus said.
There were two parts to this thing he did, and he called them consolation and desolation. Consolation is a term used to identify moments when we’re more open to God, ourselves, and others. These are moments of connection, moments when we feel more alive, more transparent to God and more livong toward other people. It’s those moments when we feel something blooming inside of us. Desolation is about the complete opposite experience, those times you felt empty, closed-off, disconnected, alienated. It’s that sense of being blocked or frustrated to the presence of God or others or yourself.
It’s probably best to do this when you’re lying in bed at the end of the day, when you’re winding down for rest. Take a few moment to just relax and breathe, letting yourself go quiet inside. Don’t try to hurry it, just wait until you feel calm and settled.
When you’re ready, begin to think back over your day. As you recall everything, let this question emerge: For what moment am I most grateful? Allow little things to rise up: maybe a smile, a compliment, sunlight in the room, a certain conversation, etc. Stay with whatever moment God seems to give you and just linger with it. Don’t force anything–just be open and let that moment emerge that seems to hold the most gratitude.
Spend some time with that moment, that situation where you felt most alive and connected. What did it feel like? What were you like?
Then go back over your events from the day and ask: For what moment am I least grateful? And again, just let God bring your attention to whatever moment seemed most filled with desolation and disconnection. Take a few moments to think about what you notice from this situation (and the purpose of this part isn’t to make you feel guilty or to dwell on your short-comings…but a chance for growth and deepening your relationship with God and others).
From here, do whatever feels natural. Maybe you need to just release something. Maybe you need to pour out words to God. Maybe you just need to lay there and be with those moments. Maybe you need to share with God the excitement of a realization or journal about things you’ve noticed or become aware of. Maybe you just need to be held by Him and fall asleep in His presence.
The overall goal of this is to become more aware of what’s going on inside of you and how the desire of God is working itself out all around you, each and every day…sometimes in the seemingly most mundane of things. God saturates the ordinary things of our lives. Hopefully this will help you become a bit more aware of Him in the midst of those things. It might take a few nights or even weeks to really feel like you’re comfortable and in a rhythm with it, and that’s fine. Don’t stress out about whether or not you’re “doing it the right way.” Just let it flow naturally. The point isn’t so much in following all the “proper” steps as it is becoming more aware yourself and God.
If you want, feel free to post any thoughts or experiences you have with it.
Hm… it’s interesting to know that Ignatius did this to to hear the voice of God. I find it kinda cool that something that he though was significant is something that I started doing awhile ago without even knowing it.
It turned into my prayer time, and I think it really works. It interesting to me, because now when I find myself being tempted to do something that Jesus wouldn’t really be happy with, I stop faster and easier than I used to. I tend to see things differently, too. I don’t know exactly how, but I do know that’s it’s better than it was.
That’s one of the reasons I wanted to post this, Kristi: we do things all the time that are prayer, worship, etc…but often, for some reason, we don’t think they “count.” I think it’s helpful to see how followers of God throughout the ages have approached Him and tried to live their lives more in tune with His presence and the ways of Jesus.
I’m glad it’s helping you, and really, it sounds like you’ve hit on the entire point of it all, which is just becoming more and more aware of God within and around you, and somehow in the midst of that, transformation occurs.
You know, one thing that I’ve recently come to terms with is the fact that someone has already been through the stuff I’m going through in my life. I tend to think that I’m alone in some of the things I’m dealing with, when in reality, someone has already gone through and survived it. And what baffles me the most is realizing that Jesus has delt with the same stuff. It just never accured to me that God really does understand me.
Transformation…. it’s funny that you’d say that. It seems like often times the people who are so set against becoming a Christian often bring up how much they don’t want to change in order to become a Christian, when in reality, you change after becoming a Follower. Just a thought.